Mom, me and tough times

Thoughts which surfaced in my mind today,,,,,17th Oct,10 From past couple of months I’m been juggling with the internal disturbance caused due to one mis-communication between my mother and me. She don't understand or I’m unable to understand the reality. Either of the one is happening with us. Presently my mind is crowded with anger, jealous, dissatisfaction, hurt, so many feeling mixed and has been the source of my internal non peace. I’m trying to keep myself aware of these influences but still it persist in its own ways. Meditations are not enough. Thoughts passing are very dangerous and don’t lead to peace for either of us. If I look the effects of following the thoughts it creates disasters. Who am I? What is my purpose? Why is that I’m facing these kind of challenges continuously in my life from past 11 years? There should be some reason or reasons for all these occurrences. I want to understand the root cause of these disturbances. I choose Light and its ways always. Is it my testing time to follow what Guruji had taught me? I need to be alert and utilize every opportunity to grow with His grace. Good it’s happening …..These problems or opportunities….let they help me to grow and choose the highest, the best,, always … Let me lead by example to others. Time to implement all I’ve learnt ….time to experience the vastness of the Divine and become Him… Sarvam Guru Krupa……..I surrender to Him who knows what is best to me at any time.